i know i’ve mentioned it before but i’ve never expanded upon it, but two years ago i went without any kind of carb other than meats and vegetables for about a week, and after that i could never eat gluten without being sick. the first day i got back from the trip (which was why i couldn’t eat carbs, it was a climbing trip and we couldn’t bring anything that would spoil or get moldy or had to be cooked) i made a pizza from scratch and that was the first time i felt sick from it.
since then i’ve given up drinking beer and stick with hard liquors, just less often. for carbs i’ve switched to only eating rice, gluten free pasta (which can be good when cooked right), gluten free pizza (against the grain is the best brand i’ve found), corn tortillas, and gluten free tamari (instead of soy sauce). its difficult, especially when eating with friends who aren’t totally aware of it, and roll their eyes whenever i mention it.
but you know what happens when i eat it? well, first, i get that horrible confused-fuzzy feeling people get when they’ve drank too much and they want to vomit. i then get horrible stomach pains like i have to fart really bad, but when i attempt to rip one, all i feel is the impending doom of diarrhea just eeking to ruin my pants, dignity. after i’ve relieved myself, and hope to god there is a place nearby i can, i get incredibly lethargic and tired, and mildly irritable. when that happens, its best to just sleep. however, on a day like today when i eat it before noon and am suffering with the consequences, i just smoke. also, fun fact, if i were to continue eating gluten and get sick, my doctor informed me that some people have to get part of their intestines removed.
it’s not an allergy, i don’t think, because i haven’t always had it, and i think you’re born with celiacs, its just an intolerance. so, people who sit and judge? guess what. your body can change over night and you’ll have to be on the other side of everyone’s opinion about what you can and can’t eat. why do people get so mad about gluten intolerance or people who say they are? because it’s so new and seemingly a “fad”? well, no one would fully give up the wonderful life that is garlic bread and chicken wings without some external coercion. i also say to those people, just fuck you. who cares who i have sex with and what i can and cannot eat. i’m not saying your bad because you hate pretension, i’m just saying fuck you because i don’t have to answer to you.
i’ve been lately forcing myself to be more adventurous and open to new experiences by dating people that meet me and ask me out. even if i’m not attracted. yes, i know it sounds on paper like a recipe for a disaster, but fortunately most of the guys that have asked me out this summer are fairly good looking but still kind of awful. to counteract this, i’ve created a new game: every time my date says or does something awful, i take a drink.
it worked so great until the other night where this date continued to ask me super personal questions and also bore me with long stories of his ex. i drank maker’s mark on the rocks and it was absolutely the worst hangover of my life.
i’m coming into the winter months hopefully with someone i could be a little more settled with, something low key and enjoyable. otherwise, i’ll just continue my impending serious drinking problem.
Let's briefly talk about last night. So the hottest guy in the entire bar is standing behind us and everyone's like, you know, eyeing him and waving and what not and I'm like not even about it because I'm in love with the barback who WILL be my boyfriend soon even if he's an inch shorter than me, but I wanted to hook this guy up with Kyle, or at the very least, to prove that really as a community we need to drop the act of "Oh my God, but he's so good looking, I can't go near him," so finally he comes and sits by us and I'm like "Fuck it, y'all bitches can stare and be pressed because I am going to talk to the hot one" and so I did and I felt really proud of myself and then he opened his mouth and had adult braces.
I’m probably jumping the gun here, I tend to do that, but this isn’t really working out for me. I know you seem nice and everyone seems to love you but as of right now, I’m just not that taken with you. Sure, its been a rough few months and I’ve cried a bit more than necessary, but I don’t know if we’re meshing well. I’ve never lived in the midwest so I feel a bit out of place, coming from always living in a coastal city.
I’m giving you the summer though. So far, I’ve found lots of fun things about the summer here, and it’s really not that bad. But with everything else, I just don’t know if you’re worth staying the winter for.
Might reconsider San Francisco or Boston, because you’re beautiful Chicago, but I don’t think you’re my type.
Warmest Regards, Stoned and Bitter.
PS You’re really not as nice as you think you are. jsyk.