January 2013
3 posts
4 tags
1 tag
i wish i had a friend named judy so i could call...
1 tag
so, kim kardashian is pregnant. do you think...
December 2012
1 post
November 2012
1 post
3 tags
October 2012
5 posts
1 tag
2 tags
the president played the osama card.
thank you, you beautiful black man who asked that question.
2 tags
2 tags
2 tags
September 2012
8 posts
3 tags
1 tag
Dear Chaos Lord, or Satan, or whatever evil entity...
Your time is up. I don’t know how it started but I know sometime in the middle of may, everything started to go horrible for me, and until now I could never explain it.
But I’ve finally figured it out: no TV.
You see, you attacked me at a vulnerable time in my life and you turned everything upside down for me. And for a while, you were winning.
But “Parks and...
i've been emotionally eating too much lately and...
2 tags
coffee
starbucks guy: what would you like?
me: grande iced coffee.
starbucks guy: you like that sweetened right?
me: nope. i like my men like i like my coffee?
starbucks guy: how's that?
me: black and bitter, i guess.
1 tag
August 2012
12 posts
6 tags
1 tag
i'm ignoring serious posts about things happening...
1 tag
2 tags
glutards and gluten freedom.
i know i’ve mentioned it before but i’ve never expanded upon it, but two years ago i went without any kind of carb other than meats and vegetables for about a week, and after that i could never eat gluten without being sick. the first day i got back from the trip (which was why i couldn’t eat carbs, it was a climbing trip and we couldn’t bring anything that would spoil or...
“Get ready to see my vagina because I’m Sharon Stoned.”
– The dumbest thing I’ve ever said, stoned.
2 tags
2 tags
dating
i’ve been lately forcing myself to be more adventurous and open to new experiences by dating people that meet me and ask me out. even if i’m not attracted. yes, i know it sounds on paper like a recipe for a disaster, but fortunately most of the guys that have asked me out this summer are fairly good looking but still kind of awful. to counteract this, i’ve created a new game:...
3 tags
eating pizza in the tub
is acceptable as a form of activity to put on your dating profile if you do it more than twice a week? also, i’m really short on my list of “activities”.
5 tags
3 tags
July 2012
27 posts
Let's briefly talk about last night. So the...
leoandtelevision:
why do i think this is the funniest thing i’ve ever read?
2 tags
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS Sequel Officially Titled X-MEN:... →
thenewhotness:
Wow. Didn’t see that coming
whaaaaaa. i can’t tell you how excited i am about it.
1 tag
high there!
alanis morisette is the luckiest woman in the world because she’s been with uncle joey AND ryan gosling
1 tag
Thanks to the miracles of the internets
I have discovered these red bumps on my legs are a “heat rash”.
I am a native floridiot and have never had this issue. I’m assuming it’s due to the fact I work at a restaurant with no real AC and this Chicago summer is a total shit head.
Does anyone know any restaurants hiring that I could make decent money?
2 tags
6 tags
the letter 'L' isn't working on my keyboard and i...
and now you all know my password has an ‘L’ in it.
3 tags
i just met a gorgeous gay stoner that loves to...
wut.
3 tags
1 tag
i need more celebrities and politicians to start...
Chicago, we need to talk.
I’m probably jumping the gun here, I tend to do that, but this isn’t really working out for me. I know you seem nice and everyone seems to love you but as of right now, I’m just not that taken with you. Sure, its been a rough few months and I’ve cried a bit more than necessary, but I don’t know if we’re meshing well. I’ve never lived in the midwest so I...
2 tags
1 tag
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
w8ing for a d8
that’s half an hour l8
