Your time is up. I don’t know how it started but I know sometime in the middle of may, everything started to go horrible for me, and until now I could never explain it.
But I’ve finally figured it out: no TV.
You see, you attacked me at a vulnerable time in my life and you turned everything upside down for me. And for a while, you were winning.
But “Parks and Recreation” is on tonight. And your spell is broken. There is nothing that you can throw at me that can’t be broken by Amy Poehler or Ron Fucking Swanson (not even her divorce!).
You may be wondering how I figured it out, but I’ll never tell.